Building Resilience: Maintaining Communication During Tough Times

Right after the first COVID lockdown, divorce filings in the U.S. jumped by about a third. Now zoom in: one couple is arguing about bills, another about in‑laws—but both fights feel the same. The real question is: why do some pairs break, while others somehow grow closer?

Right after the first COVID lockdown, divorce filings in the U.S. jumped by about a third. Now zoom in: one couple is arguing about bills, another about in‑laws—but both fights feel the same. The real question is: why do some pairs break, while others somehow grow closer?

In long‑term studies, John Gottman found a simple but demanding pattern: during conflict, stable couples maintain roughly five positive moments for every one negative. That could be a brief smile, a soft joke, “I get why you’re upset,” or “Thanks for talking this through.” It sounds small, but over months it creates a buffer against job loss, burnout, or illness.